Full disclosure, I am a newlywed 25 year old with only 3 months of experience under my belt. I am no shade of an expert, but I thought it could be a fun post to share a few of the things I’ve learned in the first 3 months of marriage. There are plenty more where this came from.
1. All of a Sudden All Your Time Disappears
Throw in work, family time, social obligations, social fun, side projects, grocery shopping, and binge watching Netflix and all of a sudden there’s no more time for all the fun things you did in college. It’s not as bad as it sounds, but there really is truth to the saying that married people disappear for the first few months of being together.
For us, it’s not like we wanted or are trying to hide from our friends, but marriage (and adult life) take up a lot of our time. I’ve always been a man of many interests and so this has been a hard pill to swallow, but it’s also made me much more productive with the time I do have. Instead of writing blog posts whenever I felt like it in 4 hour binges, I now write every morning before work.
2. Living With a Wife Requires Much, Much More Cleaning
I obviously realized that my wife kept a much cleaner place than I did, but I had no idea just how much cleaning went in to maintaining that level of spic and span. In college, I lived with four other guys and two dogs and the house was well—never clean. My wife can’t focus on anything if there are clothes on the floor or food in the sink. I usually don’t notice until she says something.
Also, cooking real meals requires more cleaning than getting taco bell—who knew!
3. You Gravitate Towards Couples
Ok, so to be fair I did have a friend tell me this—but I didn’t believe him. I still make time for my single guy friends and my wife makes time for her girl friends, but we definitely spend more time with groups and couples now than we used to.
I don’t think this was any sort of conscious decision on our part, it’s just kind of a natural shift I suppose. You spend as much time as possible with your spouse because, well you married them, and it’s often more fun for them if there are people around they can relate to. Not to say that people can only relate to the same gender, that’s stupid. To be honest, I really can’t explain this one—it just happens.
4. Putting the Toilet Seat Down is Really a Thing (and it really matters)
I have been in quite a few debates over this issue and I’ve handedly lost every time. There are simply some things that aren’t worth fighting over. That said, I still forget to put the toilet seat down. It happens all the time.
If you are considering marrying a woman, do yourself a favor and start practicing. It’s a hard habit to get into (especially for a guy who NEVER did growing up), but you’ll save yourself some grief if you learn early. Trust me, I’m still trying.
5. Doing Nothing Becomes Very Important
I am not the type who likes to sit still. While binge watching Breaking Bad, I’m usually reading sports articles on my laptop or googling things, checking blog stats, trying to learn about grown up things, etc. So it’s been tough for me to learn that doing nothing with my wife is a very important part of our weekly routine.
You’d think living with someone would account for all the quality time you could ever need, but sometimes it’s hard to find the time to just chill and be a couple together. The reason I married my wife is because I have so much fun hanging out with her. She’s one of the few people I don’t get tired of so I have to remember to make time for that. Trust me, it’s a thing.