Confession: In less than 5 months I will finally graduate from college, and I've never been more scared. After 6 years, 3 major changes, 3 universities and more than my fair share of credit hours I am almost done with my bachelor's degree. To say that I'm ready to graduate would be a drastic understatement, but there's a variety of scary things waiting for me. On November 21st I proposed to the girl of my dreams and by some miracle she agreed to marry me. And while we're not quite as recklessly romantic as some, we are totally out on a limb waiting for God to provide for us financially (and in basically every other way too).
I know what you're thinking so I'll go ahead and dismiss the false fears right now with the best tool I know--lists:
Things I am NOT afraid of
- Getting married-Brittany is the most wonderful person I've ever met and I've been not-so-patiently waiting for her to want to marry me for years. I'm ecstatic to get married and start out journey together.
- Entering the work force- Honestly, school really isn't my thing which is why I think it's taking me so long to graduate. But I've always loved work and I'm really excited to get into the business of full time employment.
- Doing poorly in the work force- For better or worse, I am an extremely confident individual, especially when it comes to my work so I'm not too afraid of that.
Things I AM afraid of
- Not realizing my potential- I have always been that guy who (oftentimes ignorantly) believed that he could do whatever he wanted. I literally did not stop believing in my potential as a professional basketball player until this past year. That said, applying for jobs has been the most confusing/overwhelming process I've ever undertaken. So far I've searched everything from summer camp work to professional belly-dancing (don't think I'm a good fit). Make no mistake, the internet job search is an overload of circular information with few real opportunities.
- Not getting hired- Being a natural people person/communicator doesn't exactly translate to resumes the way I would hope it would. And with most of my applications going out to people I've never met in companies I've never heard of--it's getting increasingly difficult to talk to a person face-to-face. Also, since I am passionate about so many different career fields I'm having a really hard time nailing down what I really "want to do" with my life. I understand that a first job is not a final career destination, but I at least need a general direction. Just because I know that I can do the job doesn't mean that my potential employer will believe the same.
- Being broke- When I proposed I made a commitment to a person that no matter what comes our way, we'll find a way to make it work. The commitment isn't scary, but no one wants to live in poverty. I suppose this is what it's like to feel like a grown up.
In some ways I'm there and in others I'm still just a scared kid, but I suppose that's what this process is all about. All I know to do is pray constantly, send my resume to every person with an email address, and work my butt off in the process.