A few days ago I read a blog post which did for me what I've always wanted to do for others. The post is called "I'm Christian Unless You're Gay" and it's written by an author named Dan Pearce on his blog Single Dad Laughing.The post itself serves as a testament to what I believe blogging is all about: small reminders of our humanity. Pearce writes about his experience with Christians and their way of hating homosexuals. Honestly, I'm not sure that debate is one I'm ready to delve into just yet (but trust me, I have strong opinions!). However, I thought I had to give respect where it was due in pointing out that this post has awoken something in me I once cherished very deeply. Explain? Sure.
I used to blog a lot. A whole lot. But I haven't in a very long time because well... I started to feel like an idiot. You see, blogging is a delicate balance of emotionally vommitting all over a computer screen for all your friends to read while also trying to be relatable and not self indulgent. I stopped updating my jordanpwhite.com blog a while back because I started to feel like an ass all the time when I was writing.
The only posts I enjoy at all when I go back through the old stuff are the ones where I was completely vulnerable and potentially overly emotional about whatever was going on in my life. Unfortunately, those kind of posts are really hard to write. Blogging is different than other types of writing in that I'm just dropping these electronic letters onto the internet for literally anyone to read... and then talk to me about later.
At first I wasn't bothered by the exposure.But then I realized that my words were being read by people very close to and very far from me.It's not like a page I can hand to people I think will be positively influenced by the story. Or something I can keep from those who I think may be offended.
I'd see people around campus the day after a juicy post and they would ask me about it. In person. It freaked me out.
So I didn't write anything for a very long time.
Well.... that's not completely true.
I've been working for some time now on a series of essays I would love to one day become a published piece of creative non fiction. My stories.
But I've hit a block (as often happens) because without YOU, I just can't seem to put digital pen to LCD paper!
So here it is... I'm starting back. I'm all in.
I'm not promising anything great, I'm honestly not sure if I'll ever post any of the things I've written for my book because of the people who would be affected. But I have to start writing again. There's just too much stirring right now to stay away.
Not blogging has felt like breathing filtered oxygen. It's risk free. Safe.
But so very unsatisfying. So this is me putting myself out there. I hope you enjoy the future of my writing. I can't wait to open my lungs.
As far as the more tangible expectations go for my blog, here's what I'm thinking:
1. Categories- Be on the lookout for more posts about varying types of experiences. In the past couple years I've started dating the girl of my dreams, gone on crazy outdoor adventures, learned what it means to "grow up" and so much more.
2. "Yeah I'm That Guy" Archive- I'm not deleting any of my super old posts, because I think it's important to remember where you come from.
3. Cleaner/fresher website- In my constant re shaping of blogs, I've come across some cool stuff I can't wait to try out.
4. A more focused energy- I got tired of using this blog as an online journal, so I'm not going to anymore. For the longest time I only had cutesy girlish blogs to inspire me and I never quite fit into that "my life is so great, here are some pictures of it" blog type, so I'm not going to use it. I also don't want to use this as a platform for making fun of people or pushing any kind of agenda.
I'm here to remind you that you, like me, are human. And that is beautiful.
*Check back tomorrow for a really funny article I wrote about my junior prom. I know that doesn't sound exciting, but trust me it's worth it*